Recently, several Cycle Harmony friends requested that I offer some tips to help them conceive a baby. Being pregnant with a new life is one of the greatest joys a woman can ever experience. On the other hand, it can turn into a stressful event if one fails to conceive after many tries, bringing up difficult emotions such as sadness, frustration and anger.

This happened to my brother and sister-in-law. A number of years ago they tried hard to conceive their first child, without success, and their relationship suffered. This lasted for about a year, until one day on vacation they conceived their firstborn – my nephew.

A couple of years later, on another vacation to Japan, my niece was conceived – in a natural hot spring. How romantic!

From their experience, I learned an interesting paradox about conception and pregnancy.

It’s like having an orgasm. If you try too hard, you can’t reach it. But when you let go and relax into it, it happens.

I believe the same is true when it comes to conceiving a baby. Despite your burning desire to have a child, you have to learn to let it go, relax, and allow it to happen when the time is right.

Of course, there are things you can do to facilitate this process. Here are some tips:

1. Time your ovulation. Usually a woman ovulates 12-16 days before her period. This window presents a fertile opportunity for an egg to couple up with a sperm – and to create a new life.

You can predict your fertile days by using an ovulation detector or by observing your cervical fluid (discharge). As you get closer to ovulation the cervical fluid will get thinner. It’ll eventually become clear and resemble the consistency of egg white when you actually ovulate. Read my post "What Does Your Virgina Discharge Tell You."

Obviously, if you make love on the day of your ovulation, the day before or after, you’re likely to get pregnant.

Check out First Response Ovulation Test, 7-Test Kit.

2. Let go of the goals, and enjoy the ride. Stress and anxiety about conception can be counterproductive while making love. When you’re with your partner, learn to let go of your thoughts about making a baby. Focus on relaxing your body and sharing love. God will take care of the rest.

3. Try a fertility massage. Certain acupressure points are excellent for increasing fertility. For men, the best point is located at a spot four finger widths below the navel.

Women also can benefit from acupressure on this point. But for women, the best point is located in the center of the chest between the nipples.

To stimulate each of these two points, first cover it with the palm of your right hand, and put your left hand on top of your right. Then, press and rub 100 times in a clockwise direction, using about 5-7 pounds of pressure.

4. Lie still. After making love, avoid going to the bathroom and lie still for about 5-10 minutes. This may help improve your chances of conceiving by keeping your partner’s semen where it needs to be.

5. Try vitex. Also known as chasteberry, vitex stimulates the pituitary gland to increase the production of luteinizing hormone (LU), a hormone that promotes egg maturation and release.

This results in higher levels of progesterone during the second half of a woman’s menstrual cycle, helping develop a thick, blood-rich uterine lining into which a fertilized egg can implant.

This is especially helpful for women between the ages of 30 and 45, when progesterone level decreases for some people.

Talk to your doctor or herbalist, and see if vitex is a good option for you. If so, you may consider using it for several months before trying to get pregnant.

Check out Nature's Way - Vitex 400 mg 100 caps. It's got good reviews.

6. Avoid soy foods. Soy foods such as tofu and soymilk contain plant estrogens, called phytoestrogens, which compete with a woman’s natural estrogen. This can throw off a woman’s natural ovulation cycle.

Being able to conceive, nurture and give birth to a new life is one of the most beautiful gifts of being a woman, whether you plan to use it to have a child or not. It’s the source of our creativity and the center of our feminine power.

Nurture your fertile soils – to conceive new life, and to express and enjoy infinite creativity and abundance…

I hope you find these tips helpful. If you have any others, please leave a comment and share with our community.

* Image credit: Spiritual Fertility Goddess by Noelle