Recently a Cycle Harmony member expressed her frustration: She wanted to have sex but her husband was not into it. What should she do? I posed this question on Facebook and got some great responses from both personal friends and Cycle Harmony members. Thank you so much for all of your great input!

The responses are summarized below. I hope this will help her, and all of us, to reignite the passion that we all long for in our relationships.

Understand – If something has changed in your sexual relationship that is causing dissatisfaction, it doesn’t often happen in isolation. There may be other factors at play. Are there any changes in your life, his life, and your life together as a couple? Stress and exhaustion from work, childcare, finances or other factors can create strains on your health, wellbeing and relationship, including sexual intimacy. Taking a bird’s eye view of your life and relationship may reveal possible reasons for his lack of interest in sex, and suggest potential solutions.

Communicate – Emotional intimacy is often closely tied to sexual intimacy. It is the glue that holds relationships together. Excessive conflict or emotional disconnect in the relationship can move a couple apart, in bed and out of bed. Clear and effective communication – both verbal and nonverbal – is a very important factor in restoring emotional and sexual intimacy. Talk out your issues, schedule some play time together, or have a once a week “date night.” All can help bring you back together as a couple.

Nurture – Remember what brought you together as a couple in the first place. Was it your attentiveness and sweetness, his openness and sense of humor, or the way you held hands and gazed at one other? These are the nutrients essential for a healthy and passionate relationship. In dealing with the demands of life, you may have kept the beauty and tenderness of romance as a distant memory, thinking of it as a passing dream. This need not be. It can be a part of your reality if you bring it out and nurture it on a daily basis. Infuse your relationship with plenty of attention, appreciation and affection! See Five Best Gifts A Woman Can Give to A Man for details.

Initiate – According to sex expert Lou Paget: “What men want isn’t a perfect figure, not physical beauty, not even expertise. What men want more than anything else is simply for us to be into it.” If he feels that he always has to initiate sex, over time he may begin to feel that you are not that into it, and his interest may begin to wane. If you want more passion in your relationship, be more passionate. Show that you appreciate him, admire him, and desire him. Let your creativity fly and have fun with it!

Change ­– Sexual attraction is the yin and yang at play in a relationship, and it takes two people to dance. Being together as life partners may sometimes blend and neutralize the strong sexual energies that brought you together initially. In other words, you may become more like friends than lovers. Break up the routines and spice up your life. It will help to reenergize the dynamic dance of feminine and the masculine energies.

Enjoy – Life’s demands and routines may sometimes prevent us from truly enjoying the simple delight of each other’s presence. Bringing back simple pleasures in life can often reawaken our own sexual energies and fire up those in our partners. When is the last time you really, I mean really, enjoyed an apple, touched your own body lovingly, or treated yourself and your partner with a delicious bubble bath and a sensual massage? Why not? Life is full of pleasures if you open your eyes and look for them. Find pleasures together, and enjoy them truly and completely!

Understand, communicate, nurture, initiate, change, love and be fulfilled. I hope you enjoyed these tips suggested by friends to reignite passion in a relationship. Personally, I believe the change starts with each of us. When we change, the world around us changes. Live vibrantly and passionately!

And check out our Mood and Period Tracker to help you keep a journal of your sex drive and your journey toward a more passionate relationship!