It’s raining outside and I’m sipping a cup of tea wondering, “What are the worst things a man can do or say when a woman is PMSing?” Reflecting on my own experience, and conversations with other women, I’ve come up with the following list.

1. Don’t ask her if she is having PMS. This is a serious DANger zone. You never know how she may take it. Most likely she will take it as an accusation and angrily defend herself: “What do you mean?” If I were you, I’d avoid it. Ask her in a more indirect way: “You look a little tired. How are you feeling?” Showing her that you care, and giving her attention, appreciation and affection are much more effective ways to go.

2. Don’t defend yourself. “I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me,” is likely to add fuel to her fire and get you into an argument that neither of you can win. When the battle is finally over, you both may end up exhausted, wondering, “What the hell just happened?”

3. Don’t withdraw. This is one of the times she really needs your strong shoulders to lean on – even though she may look as if she’s going to kill you. Your instinct may be telling you to run for your dear life, but if you are there for her during the PMS storm, she will remember it. Trust me, you are making an investment into your relationship bank account, and it will pay off handsomely.

4. Don’t take it personally. When she is PMSing, it’s very likely she has less control over her emotions, words and actions. Know that whatever she says at the moment is likely to be colored by her emotions, and not necessarily an accurate reflection of how she feels at other times.

5. Don’t retaliate and use it against her. If you keep score and use her PMS moments against her later on, you may be starting a bad virus that is likely corrupt the health of your relationship. So don’t go there.

This is what I’ve learned. No matter how strong a woman is in her own right, she respects and admires a man who stands up to her, and for her – unthreatened and committed – and loves her no matter what.

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